MEMBER ARTICLE: The art of organising a BDSM session
from
Recon News
05 September 2020
By SilverBack93
Setting up a BDSM session from top to bottom with the aim of making sure that everything goes as planned is a bit like preparing a shopping list during lockdown. If you fail to list all the items on a piece of paper, the session might be doomed to failure and you might come back empty-handed and lose confidence in your partner. The same thing applies in the big world of BDSM. If you don't take the time to establish the desired practises, you might as well cancel the date.
When I was 18 and I started my first sessions as a sub, I thought that being a Dom was a simplistic art, and that the only important thing was to establish one's boundaries in order to run a smooth session. This is not the case! As I got more and more experienced, I realised that becoming a sub was as difficult as becoming a Dom. Why? Well, because organisation is also truly important. Thanks to the organisation of a session, we think twice before accepting a new playmate. It also helps us deal with our own feelings during painful practices. We can note that opening the door of this big and beautiful realm is a small thing compared to the amazing adventures that follow. As soon as we enter it, we must learn to discern what represents the perfect session for us, starting with a key point and the reason why I'm writing this article: organisation.
The beginnings are often hard, but I always have a smile on my face when I establish the course of my bdsm sessions in my head. I was 19 when I discovered my infatuation for physical domination (bondage, tickle torture, anything to do with bodily practices). The problem is that preparing a session with a pleasure-seeking kinkster requires more work and effort than giving a good introductory handshake. It is indeed absolutely crucial to think of and anticipate how the session will unfold, and unfortunately, many kinksters forget to do so. We must implement a strategy so that our playmates feel right at home.
First of all, I was most surprised by the financial and material aspect of BDSM sessions. I have noticed that more and more of my guys, whether they are new or experienced, feel that the Dom has to at least include ropes, hoods and lube in order to have a fully satisfying session. I am not a rich man and finding these things online can prove to be difficult at times since they tend to be pricey! However, it's important not to get discouraged, since our BDSM world still has "links" with the ordinary world. For a good nipple session, you can use clothespins. If you don't have a hood, use a scarf. You can also find ropes in "normal" shops… This primary part of a session needs good organisation… This is how we can distinguish a good organiser from a bad one. When I started out as a Dom, I used this approach, and each month, I would buy a BDSM item which was also a treat for myself, for less than 50 euros each time. That way, my partners trusted me more, and they would let me tie them up with more confidence. Treat yourself and be innovative, but make sure not to harm your playmate. You must act like a pro at all times.
Secondly, it is clear that good organisation is not enough if you don't show any kindness, or should I say, transparency! Be honest, and if you're a newbie in regards to certain aspects, do not hide that fact. This could ruin what happens next. Social communication is one of the most important practices, right after the material aspect of BDSM. We should not be afraid of our flaws, and we should freely talk about other subjects if we want to. Trust has to be earned, which is what I promote when I meet my partners. For me, having conversations with my partners is very important. As Doms and subs, our mission is to dedicate our lives to the communicative network. Let's talk before the session, during the session and after the session. I guarantee that this is the key to a smooth-running session.
Thirdly: reflection. Do not overestimate your abilities to dominate or to submit to others as this could lead to trouble. Know how to remain spontaneous and logical. After spending all this time navigating guys on the boat of bondage and physical torture, I have realised that in order to organise a session effectively, it is important to direct what I mentioned earlier in the article, "communication and equipment", to our primary goal: bringing our partner to mental or physical climax. I have to admit, though, that it takes time. A BDSM session is not a mere sexual hook-up (people who say that sodomy and fellatio are BDSM acts are obviously wrong). We need to think about the various bondage positions, the tortures we will inflict upon our subs, the kind of lube we will use, the masks, the way we will train our guys…
Thus, little by little and depending on what abilities you have, your sessions will be perfect from the moment your brain evaluates all the stages of this cloudy but calm river.
Finally, let's have a communicative mind and let's play our characters to the full. We should also develop future BDSM projects, play safe, and above all, we should not endanger our life and the lives of others. Let's create perfect sessions with our partners. No matter what background or preferences we have, we should elaborate our sessions to make them safe, and ensure that our friends enjoy themselves as much as we do.
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