Member Article - Playing With Age
from
Recon News
04 August 2022
By LoneWolfPig
Age play is something I didn't think I related to when I first encountered it. But then a hot scene with a sexy man happened and my mindset regarding age play shifted. Suddenly I understood it a bit better.
The situation was with a regular play buddy. He was in his 40s. I was in my early 60s. He was tied to the bed, legs spread and hoisted up, and I was fucking him. Suddenly he looked at me with seductive eyes which were his trademark and said something to the effect of "Dad, I love it when you fuck me when mom's not home."
I stopped. Immediately. I was startled. I don't have even a smidgen of interest in underage men. Never have. In fact, most who know me are aware that my ideal man demographic is most often men around my age or older. Perhaps as a result of my advancing years, I now regularly enjoy men across the entire legal age spectrum, but my propensity still lands mostly among my older gay male peers.
To be confronted with the idea of playing with someone that precariously young, even in a fantasy sense, shook me to my core. I didn't know what to do. Our scene stopped. My buddy realized I was stunned, and not in a good way. He strained against the bondage and reached his body up to me, looked me deep in the eyes, and kissed me saying "It's just fantasy Dad. We can go anywhere in our heads."
After some back and forth discussion, my brain adjusted to the stark imagined age differences between us, and I started to get back into the scene. We became dad and son in my mind, and it eventually added a new fantasy kink scenario to my already extensive list of sexual interests.
From that point on whenever we got together our fantasy age difference became a hallmark of our erotic connection. He regularly called me dad. I called him son. He'd even call me dad in public and asked me to call him son. When guys overheard us in a leather bar, they sometimes approached us wanting in on the dad/son action.
Based on some reactions from those I've mentioned this to, I feel I need to emphasize that we both fully understood this was fantasy. Neither of us would ever entertain the notion of anyone having sex with someone underage. And ultimately, we reverted to our actual ages and simply enjoyed the fantasy Dad/son dynamic.
Age play (or ageplay) has become a more common category of kink in recent years. It's always been around, but it's certainly come out of the closet. It can be controversial.
Usually, the problem people have with age play is the mistaken assumption that it's about someone underage being erotically involved with an adult. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Even among experienced men in the kink and leather worlds, when you mention age play you might get a negative reaction. Judgment can be quick if they're not educated on the topic.
Certain edgier kinks tend to be concealed privately and not readily revealed to one's erotic peers. Age play has historically been one of those clandestine kinks. A leather clad Dom man walking around Folsom Europe or International Mr. Leather with a sub on a leash wouldn't raise many eyebrows. Should that same leashed sub be wearing a diaper with a pacifier in his mouth, some in the crowd might be aghast.
That said, increasingly guys are learning the facts and not the falsehoods about age play. It's becoming more accepted and understood. It's not for everyone, but for that subset of guys who enjoy it, age play can be satisfying and liberating.
Adopting a fictional erotic persona for a few hours with someone we're really into can submerge us into a blissful state. At least it does me. It's meditative. It's freeing. Taking a fantasy to the edges of what's possible or acceptable in real life can deepen the experience.
Age play aficionados are always quick to point out that everything they do is only between consenting adults. I don't consider myself a member of the age play community, but when I've talked with those who do, the adult, consensual nature of what they do is typically the first thing they mention. Age players have become familiar with the abundant mistaken assumptions and are quick to qualify their kinky interests within the bounds of decency, consent, and legality.
Not only is age play between consenting adults, it's often one of the more heavily negotiated scenes, especially if one or more of the partners is regressing to an extremely young age. Like with all of kink, trauma triggers could be hidden like landmines that only show themselves when accidentally stepped on. This is true for any radical sexuality.
Experienced kinksters tend to be well-versed in the physical safety guidelines and parameters of what they do, but the emotional guardrails are where extra caution needs to be exercised, for any kink scene but most definitely for anything that might uncover unforeseen psychological challenges.
Thorough negotiation with lots of ongoing communication throughout the play keeps everyone emotionally and psychologically safer. That's how it is for all kink, and especially so for the kinks that take place primarily between our ears. Should one of those landmines be accidentally activated, experienced age players know to stop the scene and immediately check in with their partner. The age players I know are incredibly responsible. Agreed upon consent is their guiding principle.
Often when I hear age play mentioned, there's an assumption it means at least one of the partners adopts the mindset of an extremely young age. It's true that's often the case. When age play is mentioned in kinky circles, there is indeed an expectation it's about one or more partners adopting a baby or child age. But that's not always the case.
Wikipedia starts its description of age play this way. "Ageplay or age play is a form of roleplaying in which an individual acts or treats another as if they were a different age. Ageplay is roleplaying between adults and involves consent from all parties. Ageplay is not necessarily sexual. Portraying any age can be the goal of ageplay, from babies to a child to the elderly. Usually this involves someone pretending to be younger than they actually are, but more rarely can involve assuming an older role."
In my own experience, a scene partner assuming an older role is more common than generally believed. I've been cast in the role of Dad, Granddad, or Coach more times than I can count. I'm not complaining. At nearly 68 years of age, having men who find my age attractive and even add years to my age when we play is fine with me.
But it's true that age play often connotes someone regressing to an extremely young age. One experienced age player describes age play as people becoming anywhere from the "Little" stage which is regressing in roleplaying to let's say age one to about 11 or 12. "Middles" are those who adopt an age from about 11 or 12 up until about 17. "Bigs" and "Caregivers" are the 18+ adults.
The age play realm is awash in its own lexicon. I did an online search for "age play terms" and one site showed me about 35 different ones. I can't possibly do justice to defining all those terms here, but they're easy to look up. An assortment of websites are dedicated to age play and there are even adult clothing, toy, and gear companies focused entirely on the age play market.
One group of kinksters that seems to be prevalent among kinky gay men is the Adult Baby Diaper Lover (ABDL) community. ABDL is a popular manifestation of age play dynamics and the one I've seen most often at events or parties. ABDL kinksters use roleplay to regress to an infant or child-like state. They roleplay as a baby wearing diapers and the play can extend anywhere from wearing diapers to wetting and being seen or exposed in them.
It's no longer uncommon to go to a big men's kink event and see hot studs walking around in diapers and perhaps clothing or gear that correlates to a toddler. The men's ABDL community appears to be growing. And let me reemphasize the "adult" in ABDL. Again, this is about consenting adults playing.
I know most think of play personas like Littles, Middles, Bigs, Caregivers, and ABDL fans when discussing age play kink, but I tend to play in the realm of age differences that are older. When I play in the Dad/son mindset, my son is usually a guy in his 30s, 40s, or older. Coach and athlete can have big age differences but still both within adult parameters. Same for teacher and student, or doctor and patient. Use your imagination. This is how my own age play tends to manifest and I think that's true for lots of guys.
There's so much else I could write about age play. It's quite new territory for me so I'm still learning a lot. Check out videos by Watts the Safeword that discuss age play and online resources like Diaper-BOIS. I also did a keyword search on Recon for "ABDL" and it returned extensive search results. So, there are lots of Recon men on this platform you can reach out to if you have questions or if your curiosity is piqued.
***If you'd like to share a fetish or kink experience in a member article, send your ideas or a first draft to: social@recon.com
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