MEMBER ADVICE: MancBondage on learning rope bondage
from
Recon News
01 May 2020
Recon member MancBondage offers his advice to people looking to learn rope bondage.
GO ONLINE
When I first started, I discovered that YouTube has a plethora of tutorials and materials to help you learn the basics. When I first began, I used 'Watts the Safe Word' and other Shibari tutorials such as 'The Duchy' on Patreon. The most important knot you first need to master is the single column tie. This is a pre-requisite of nearly every tie that you do. I would recommend, like I did, that you practise these ties on yourself to begin with and once you're familiar, find a patient friend or partner that is willing to be roped! But please, always remember to keep your practise work on the floor and only practise on your arms and legs. Nothing that can bring you into any danger.
PEER ROPE GROUPS/SOCIALS
I started to become a regular at the monthly MancsBound event in Manchester, hosted at the Eagle. This event is the sister event to Fetish Bound in London and has been one of the best things I could have done. I've met so many lovely people this way and been able to watch and learn from other people first-hand. Do a google to see if there are any active peer rope groups or Shibari studios near you.
SOCIAL MEDIA
I meet a lot of people from Recon, Instagram and Twitter. Get yourself out there to meet new people to practise with if you don't have your own 'rope bunny' to practise on. When I first arrived in Manchester, I met Englishkinks on the MRM pub-crawl. Neither of us knew anyone there, so we spent the entire night chatting together, he showed me his social media and suggested I do the same. It was the best thing I ever did!
GEAR
Don't worry too much about buying the most expensive gear. Admittedly, I am of a school of thought that if you buy cheap, you buy twice – having been around a bit. However, when I first started, I did also buy some cotton ropes from e-bay and these are great to learn the basic ties and hitches – Just don't try any suspensions with them! Floor work only.
SWITCH
I am a firm believer that all good dominants need to experience the bondage and scenes they are providing to their submissive themselves. I feel it's key to knowing what feels uncomfortable and how long a tie can be realistically sustained. I spent most of my twenties being a sub for several guys and this experience has given me an insight as to how to approach a scene in a way that is going to be enjoyable for both parties.
SAFETY, SIGNALS & AFTER CARE
These pointers are possibly the most important aspects of your journey as a rigger. Medical grade scissors are a must and through learning the single column tie, you are often able to release a person's hands/appendages a lot quicker! And trust me – you will use them. My shears are the first thing to come out at the beginning of a scene and thankfully, so far, I have only had to use them once to cut through rope. It wasn't the most pleasant experience, but it certainly re-emphasised the need to never be complacent.
Within a scene (it's really obvious but…) make sure you agree on a safe word of some form. I'm not a fan of a word, I find that a little bit pointless especially when they have a mouthful of gag or something else. I usually agree with three clear grunts. Also, once a sub is tied, watch their every movement as best you can. It's very important to pick up on small signals such as fingers beginning to wiggle, ankles being rotated or discolouration. These are usually indicators that they are starting to find the position uncomfortable and that it's time to switch it up. With the discolouration though, this doesn't always mean that it's something to panic about. I've found through experience that some people's arms and legs change much quicker due to their natural tones, however it's good to ask these sorts of questions before you start. It's also useful to ask the bunny if they have any pre-existing injuries of complaints to make sure undue pressure isn't placed on their joints or muscles.
At the end of a scene, once a person has been tied, whilst their body may be relaxed, they are in a heightened state. Make sure that your sub, often against their better interests, doesn't rush to get out from the ropes or stand up too quickly. As much as you sensualise the tying up, try to keep the release similar – a sudden rush of blood to the head and you could be back in the predicament I found myself. I'm also a very keen advocate of chatting both before and after a session with a brew. This allows me to put the other person at ease at the start and gives me a chance to really check the sub is okay and share a few hugs before they leave my place at the end.
Self-bondage. Practice. Engage with the community. Make mistakes and learn from them!
You can find MancBondage, and other members into ropes, by using the Search function on the Recon website, and searching the Bondage Interest category.
If you'd like to offer advice on a certain kink or fetish you're passionate about in a member article, send your ideas or a first draft to: social@recon.com
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